• Villager

Zucchini Season Coming to an End

Zucchini season in Andover, a beloved symbol of the bounty of summer, is coming to an end. The mountains of zucchini left on village benches, Sunday pews, and unsuspecting neighbors porches have dwindled to a smattering of the largest late season offerings.


Some folks prefer the smaller July zucchini and summer squash, but the August veggies can grow to be massive points of pride for the gardeners that grow them. One Andover resident and backyard zucchini rancher stated "With all this rain my zooks have been massive this year. I had one the size of a Shrek baby before some critter got to it."


House with zucchini on the proch
Zucchini season has spawned some hilarious (yet dark) memes

Yesterday around noon a small pile of zucchini and summer squash mysteriously appeared on the bench in front of the Post Office. Normally these offerings of free produce are snapped up by local residents. However this pile remained well into the early evening with this reporter last spotting them at 7:30 pm. This morning the pile was gone as someone took pity on the poor unsupervised produce during the night.


produce on a bench
A lonely trio of late summer produce

Everyone in the village has been busily baking their neighbors bounties into breads, brownies and other baked goods in the heat of summer. However the zucchini vines have outpaced the local demand as usual. Zucchini wranglers are increasingly finding their crop harder and harder to give away. This has lead some zucchini producers to begin their usual end of season guerrilla tactics which include leaving zucchini in any unattended area including unsuspecting neighboring porches. At this time of year it is highly recommended that you lock your cars doors when parked in the village as you're likely to find a collection of zucchini each bigger than your arm when you return if you do not.


A local zucchini producer speaking on condition of anonymity said "I can't even stand to look at them anymore. Just take them. Please. If I have to make one more dinner with zoodles I'm gonna lose it." So if you find yourself suddenly in the possession of unasked for zucchini please accept them gracefully. Three weeks ago you were all asking who had any to give away and now that answer is you. Congratulations!



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