Andover resident's may have noticed that there is still snow on the ground. However, there is reason to be optimistic that spring is indeed headed our way. While nationally recognized groundhog soothsayer Punxsutawney Phil has declared 6 more weeks of winter, our local groundhogs beg to differ. They have been venturing out of their burrows with increasing frequency.
A local groundhog who wishes to remain anonymous stated "Punxsutawney Phil is a charlatan. His name isn't even really Phil. That ol' boy is an indoor groundhog if ever I saw one. He wouldn't know a season change if it walloped him upside the head."*
Statistics back up our local groundhog's instincts. Records show that "Phil" is only correct 39% of the time. The odds of the alleged imposter groundhog being wrong are higher than him being right.
One local Andover resident when asked if they felt that the 6 weeks more winter prediction was correct said "Look, I'm not getting my weather from a rodent in Pennsylvania. We need to trust our local vermin with that kind of thing. "
Trust in your local groundhogs to lead you into spring ahead of "Phil's" schedule. Our local groundhogs insist their true calling is soil aeration and not weather prediction. They have a lot of ambitious projects planned for spring. So get ready for some real ankle twisters.
*rough translation/creative interpretation as groundhogs don't speak English per say.
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